Soapbox Time: Books for Boys

I’d intended to introduce this category with a great deal more fanfare. Honest Injun, I had. I’d begun not one, but two bitter, profanity-laced, foaming-at-the-mouth polemics against the American system of public education, with particular emphasis upon its mentally, morally and spiritually crippling effects upon our nation’s boys. I had a virtual wheelbarrow of verbal brickbats loaded and ready to heave at various and sundry well-deserving targets.

I had quivers aplenty, bristling with shafts of mockery and contempt, and ready to be loosed at a moment’s notice. I’d planned to excoriate pseudo-conservative George W. Bush, not only for spitting in Reagan’s face by putting us back into UNESCO, but for his despicable “No child left behind” scheme.

That, by the way, is far too tempting a target to ignore. Permit me a digression if you’ll be so kind, Gentle Reader. When last I checked, the typical conservative wanted less government in his life, not more. Perhaps times have changed (chuckle…), but this is apparently no longer the case. Enter “Monkey Boy” and his neocon cronies, bent upon one of the most despicable acts of intellectual vandalism (dare one refer to it as “Kristolnacht?”) in our nation’s troubled history: “No child left behind.”

The idea of entrusting a child’s education to the state is hardly a new one. The Prussians were rather fond of the practice. Ditto those wacky, fun-loving Soviets and Nazis. There’s a very good reason for this, of course. As the Chinese proverb runs: “Whose bread I eat, his song I sing.” Rendered in plain English: When a child’s education is left to the state, said child will learn whatever the state chooses to teach him. As all governments have agendas, the agenda of any given government – and the values and goals it’s agenda is calculated to achieve – will be passed along to the children it is permitted to “educate” (and I employ the term very, very loosely). “He who has the youth has the future,” as the kraut with the funny moustache observed some decades ago.

This, by the way, is why “No child left alone,” as I call it, is such a nightmare waiting to happen. Of far greater importance than the bogus “War on Terror” is the so-called “culture war” that, of late, has received little mention. Not long ago, as a matter of fact, one typically vacuous neocon wag observed: “The culture war is over, and we lost,” as if the matter had been settled once and for all.

Wrong, shit-for-brains. That manner of cut-and-run, appeasement-oriented mentality is yet another slash in the “death of a thousand cuts” from which this country is perishing piecemeal. As a typical neocon’s intellectual capacity is roughly on par with that of a pinworm, one hardly expects any great measure of thought – let along forethought – from them. “Hannitized,” after all, rhymes with “sanitized” for a very good reason: The poor fool who willingly enters such a state of voluntary idiocy effectively renders his own mind tabula rasa once again, leaving it a blank slate upon which neocon propaganda may be writ large – if in Crayola crayon. Unfortunately, these “blank slates,” owing to this very lack of mental acuity, fail to realize that the social machinery they’ve chosen to build will function every bit as well for the commies (uh, I mean democrats – yeah, that’s it…) when they assume power in ’09, as it does for them.

So much for that nasty topic. I would take a few potshots at so-called “faith-based initiatives,” (read: an insidious method of luring parochial schools into toeing the government line), but the demands of brevity preclude doing so. On to the topic at hand, then.

As it’s simply too late to hope for any meaningful – however desperately needed – changes to be made to our disgraceful system of public education, the only solution, as I see it, is for parents to take responsibility for educating their own children. Private schools and home schooling would be my first choices, but these options aren’t open to everyone, for various reasons. The solution for the parent who is troubled by the garbage his progeny are having shoved down their throats in our once-great nation’s indoctrination camps, therefore, is to counteract the propaganda they absorb for six to eight hours a day.

This where my new category comes into play. Even though I’ve entitled it Books for Boys; girls – and even a few adults – could almost certainly benefit from reading the selections I’ll recommend. I’d advise, as a matter of fact, that adults read these books along with their children. After all, one can’t counteract the lies his children are taught, if one can’t identify them oneself.

My recommendations are based on the assumption that the child to whom they’ll be provided can already read. Should this not be the case, I’d counsel purchasing a good, phonics-based course and getting started immediately. There is, after all, no time like the present. My reasons for insisting upon the phonic method are too numerous to list here, so I’d point the interested reader to Rudolf Flesch’s Why Johnny Can’t Read, And What You Can Do About It.

Aside from the fact that overall literacy rates have declined since the introduction of the “Whole Word” or “Look-Say” reading method (English orthography, as it happens, simply doesn’t work that way), which fact fairly screams for its immediate discontinuation -- a thorough grounding in phonics will prove invaluable to older children when they are introduced to phonology, morphology, etymology, and other, more advanced stages of learning the language.

Once the foundation has been poured, as it were, one can begin laying bricks.

The first “brick” I’ll lay is certain to raise eyebrows and blood pressure among the irreligious. It is, of course, the Bible. I prefer the King James Version, for the language. I’ve been told that more accurate translations exist (the New International, for example), but I find them woefully lacking when compared to the poetic power of the KJV.

Whether or not one is a Christian, the Judeo-Christian tradition is undeniably one of the pillars upon which Western civilization rests. If one doesn’t understand Christianity, one’s understanding of Western culture is consequently incomplete. On a personal and less academic note, I’ll also add that to my mind, Proverbs is the best guide to professional ethics I’ve ever read. (All ages.)

The next recommendation is an atlas. Yes, an atlas. The exact brand doesn’t matter. An inexpensive, paperback copy is perfectly acceptable, as far as I’m concerned. It doesn’t a whit of good for a child to be told that such-and-such an event occurred at such-and-such a time and place, if he/she can’t find that place on a map. Aside from illiteracy and historical ignorance, unfamiliarity with geography is a leading cause of ignorance and wrong-headedness in this country.

I’m often appalled by the number of adults I meet, who can’t identify Canada, or even neighboring states on an unlabeled map. There is simply no excuse for this kind of ignorant provinciality, and a ten-dollar atlas is an instant cure. Do your child a favor and buy him one. If nothing else, he’ll be slightly better informed those who can’t tell “the difference between Iraq and Iran.” (All ages.)

For younger children, those just learning to read, one can hardly do better than to purchase a reprinted set of McGuffy’s Readers. One should be prepared to take a hard shot to the ol’ ego, though. The realization that nineteenth century children were capable of handling the selections found in McGuffy’s is guaranteed to leave many a modern adult red-faced with shame. And it should. (Ages 4-10.)

I’ve made this recommendation in an earlier post, and I’ll stick to it: A dictionary. In this case, I’d advise going “whole hog.” Don’t skimp. Those pocket dictionaries one finds in supermarkets simply don’t cut the mustard. There’s no need to break the bank by splurging for a full set of The Oxford English Dictionary, of course, but a good, comprehensive, etymological dictionary is a necessity. I prefer the Oxford Reference Dictionary, The American Heritage Dictionary, and Webster’s. (All ages.)

Next up is a thesaurus. I’m partial to Roget’s, but others are acceptable, as well. An enhanced vocabulary allows one to entertain and articulate increasingly complex concepts, and to express and understand nuances of meaning that would be lost upon the less educated. Needless to say, this leads not only to a deeper understanding of the printed page, but also to more effective communication overall.

And I suppose that’s all the communicating I’ll do, for now. More later.

Comments

[TIM]

This is one subject that we are in complete agreement on, reading books is the ticket to avoid "fucktardation."

I would like to add that it is very important to read to your kids when they are too young to read. Kids learn a lot by trying to imitate their parents, so you have to teach the right lessons.