Green Hell

Further Ups and Downs of Raising Poultry

We've encountered yet another of the pitfalls endemic to raising poultry in vermin-infested Roswell, Georgia.

After the fox attack in late winter (we lost five of our Rhode Islands reds to one of the bastards. Contrary to tree-hugger mythology, foxes do not kill only what they can eat. In reality, they kill everything in sight, eat whichever parts suit them, and leave the rest of the dead and dying birds to rot), we took additional measures to secure the coop. So far, so good. Since then, the fox hasn't been a problem. With only one Rhode Island Red left,though, we had to rebuild our flock. We obtained another from my cousin, while a kind-hearted neighbor gave us yet another Red, and a Plymouth Rock. This left us with two vacancies to fill.

Although I didn't like the idea, we ended up getting two Leghorns, both from the same brood, and neither full grown. I opposed the idea because I didn't want to introduce yet another unfamiliar breed to the flock. The Plymouth Rock has finally become accustomed to her neighbors, but the process took time. (And I suppose the fact that she's now the size of a small turkey - which is to say that she's the largest bird in the flock - didn't hurt, insofar as carving  herself a niche was concerned.)

Unlike the aggressive Rhode Island Red or the adaptable Plymouth Rock, the Leghorn, I've since discovered,  is a comparatively fragile breed, and prone to skittishness. When we introduced the newcomers to the flock in April, the bigger, older birds set upon them unmercifully. This necessitated removing them from harm's way immediately, and building a temporary coop on the spot. Once we'd settled the babies in their new home, all went well until two weeks ago.



On the fourth, I received a phone call from my wife. Terribly upset, she insisted that I come home immediately. Something , she told me, had happened to one of the chickens.

It certainly had.

Upon arriving home, I discovered that one of the babies had suffered a terrible injury to her left leg. I also discovered an unpleasant fact about "chicken-kind":  they attack their own wounded. We rushed her to the garage, constructed alternative quarters, and tried our best to nurse her back to health. A friend of ours provided us with the necessary medications, but cautioned us that she had only a 50-50 chance of surviving.

While the wounded bird convalesced, I took a closer look at the injury, and examined the coop more closely.

All the work put into fox-proofing and coyote-proofing the henhouses -- only to have a rat, of all things, attack one of the birds.

To make a long story short: the chick improved steadily over the last two weeks. Her appetite returned, she took water again, was attempting to move herself around, and seemed to enjoy being taken outside (under heavy guard, of course) to peck for bugs.

Then, without warning, she died this afternoon.

So anyway, if by chance, you raise poultry in Roswell; it isn't enough to protect your birds from cats, dogs, foxes, coyotes, and hawks. You must also safeguard the younger ones against large, aggressive rats.  

G'night and God bless. 

Coming Home to Roost -- Very Soon

We're two days into building our chicken coop. It's a simple affair, but it's all we really need for the six birds the City of Roswell magnanimously allows us to keep. Overstep the limit by even a single fowl, and there's a good chance of ending up like the late Andrew Wordes. 

I add that spiteful remark because I was there, perhaps 100 feet away when Andy burned the house down with himself inside. None of the councilmembers who (quite literally) hounded him to his grave via an endless series of lawsuits and harrassment had the guts to view their dirty work. 

Anyway, our coop a two-level, 8' x 4' A-frame with a removable roof and several add-on security features intended to keep the birds safe from predators. We based the design on Cawtaba Converticoops' Urbane Coops for Urban Chickens by David P. Bissette. The project should be complete within another day or two, at which poin't we'll pick up the chickens we bought from my cousin.

Total cost in materials was roughly $100.00, but we probably could have shaved a bit off the figure by scavenging. 

The Weather: Someone Else Notices at Last

At long last, a mainstream source notices that the weather's a tad abnormal. According to the Guardian:

Meanwhile, north America's most deadly and destructive tornado season ever saw 600 "twisters" in April alone, and 138 people killed in Joplin, Missouri, by a mile-wide whirlwind. Arizonans were this week fighting some of the largest wildfires they have known, and the greatest flood in recorded US history is occurring along sections of the Missouri river. This is all taking place during a deepening drought in Texas and other southern states – the eighth year of "exceptional" drought there in the past 12 years.

Predictably, the article implies that "global warming" is to blame. What it doesn't mention, though (and the omission, too, is predictable: most Westerners, whether European or American know nothing about agriculture) is that weather is altering itself selectively. This is to say that it appears to targeting the world's "bread baskets": last year's heatwave in Russia, this year's drought in Russia and Central Europe, the current flooding in the Midwest, and the drought and heatwaves in the Southeast and Southwest.

Here in Georgia, for example, an unseasonable warm spell in February caused many plants to blossom prematurely. Subsequent frosts then killed the flowers. March and April were unusually cold and wet. When this happens, planting is delayed, as the soil is too wet to work, and the chance of the seed simply rotting in the ground increases. From May onward, the drought/heatwave began. For most of the last several weeks, Temperatures have been in the '90s, which is ten degrees higher than normal for this time of year.

For most vegetables, optimum germination occures between 68 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit. When the temperature rises above 90, the germination rate for beans and corn (I've chosen them as examples because both are staples) drops to 39% and 88% respectively. Plants native to the tropics and subtropics (melons, tomatoes, pepper, eggplant, summer squash, etc.) fare better, but have little caloric value. Does anyone else see the problem?

Now I'm sure the timing is sheer coincidence, but it appears that the weather is behaving intelligently, almost strategically -- if decreased food production is the desired end. So is it really coincidence, or is it possible that these guys and others of their ilk are running a little ahead of schedule?

Just curious...

Safe Seeds?

If you're committed to keeping Monsanto's genetically modified "Brave New Veggies" out of your garden, here a few links to articles and discussion boards on the subject.

A few comments of my own before I post the list:

1.) Thumbs up to Pinetree. I've been dealing with them for years, and their seed is excellent -- especially the heirloom varieties. In the main, the packets are small -- but the plants never produce "Frankenfruit." This is to say that as long as closely related cultivars are planted well apart, they breed true and produce viable seed. Naturally, the F1's revert to scrub after a season, but Pinetree clearly marks its hybrid offerings.

2.) Territorial and Seeds of Change are also top-notch, but rather pricey.

3.) Botanical Interests's products are the perfect compromise between affordability and viability: "clean" seed at very reasonable prices.

4.) Burgess's "Native American" collection produces viable seed year after year. Although I can't speak for the other seed selections, I'll mention that their live plants are quite fertile -- especially their blackberries and elderberries, which are now taking over my yard. 

5.) Whatever you do, stay the hell away from Burpee.

6.) I've stopped doing business with Burpee and Twilley's. If you must buy from either, purchase only the former's "Fordhook" or "Waltham" cultivars -- and pray that you're getting the real thing. 

Links:

Mothering.com

Garden of Eatin'

Duluth Community Garden Program

Leaflady.org

Mrs. Survival

 

 

 

Necessities: Grain Mill

With the economy suffering the equivalent of a grand mal seizure, and food prices rising like a priest's Johnson at a Boy Scout jamboreee; home gardening may very well become a practical necessity -- rather than the exclusive preserve of hippies, hayseeds and little old ladies with twenty-seven cats.

Most green and yellow vegetables, however, offer little or no return on one's caloric investment. (This is to say that it's entirely possible to die of starvation amidst metric tons of celery, cucumbers and tomatoes.) For this reason, human beings have cultivated grains and legumes (both of which -- in addition to being less perishable, and therefore storable-- furnish carbohydrates and proteins in different measures) for millennia.

Although derided in the past for its lack of const-effectiveness, home grain and legume production has become increasingly practical. Although this article doesn't condern gardening per se, I'll mention that under intensive cultivation and care, a 2,000-square-foot plot can yield a bushel of unprocessed grain. Although not ideally suited to the purpose (and yes, I'm wandering somewhat afield) even sweet corn can be dried and ground. Assuming that one lives in zones 7-10 and chooses a 60-day cultivar -- "Early Sunglow," for example -- three or even four harvests a year are possible. More about this in a future piece.

The main problem with unprocessed grain is the fact that for all its caloric value, it's downright unappetizing. Even after hulling and winnowing, most grains are still as appealing as the prospect of French-kissing a malodorous bag lady with "meth-mouth" and cold sores. Granted, one can make kashi and similar dishes with them. (I'm a sucker for boiled or steamed barley m'ownself -- just don't tell anyone, OK? :-).

One can even make gruels and congees from whole grains -- but when did your kids last come running to dinner, shouting: "Yay! We're havin' gruel tonight! 'Cept for fried chicken, that's my mostest favoritiest food in the whole, wide world!" ?

That's right: never. Don't even try to bullshit me, dude.

This is why a grain mill is a necessity for home gardeners and microfarmers. Although slower and less powerful than industrial mills, a manual grinder with steel plates is far more effective and efficient than the mano/metate and similar stone-age devices.

I've been processing my own grain (Indian corn, which, contrary to popular misconception is edible -- and very tasty -- when ground) since '05, but I employed a coffee/spice mill at the time. That's fine for a bachelor who needs a cup or so at a time (How many pancakes was I gonna eat at one sitting, anyway?), but I now have a spouse; while my social sphere is no longer restricted to bars, pistol ranges and gun shows.

In other words (and I realize that the assertion is damn-near-unbelievable): I actually entertain at times. This (in Ivy League parlance) often calls for more vittles.

Admittely, I'd meant to purchase a grinder since '06; but like painting the f****** shutters or changing my socks, my noble intentions quickly became cobblestones in the Highway to Hell. As luck would have it, though, Bro Wayne gave me one as a wedding gift in '08.

As the three or four of you who still read this blog know: I don't run ads, and I only shill products I actually use.

This is one of 'em. To small-scale growers, the Country Living Grain Mill is nothing short of a Godsend.

Assembly, disassembly and use are idiot-simple. Hell, F****** this ingenious device up would require nothing short of the the concerted, fanatically commited efforts of Bush, Obama, 5/6 of the Roswell City Coucil (although I dislike Betty Price for her boorish, hoity-toity demeanor during the '10 GOP gubernatortial primary; I respect her intellect and her consistent, principled defense of individual liberty. Ergo, she's off the hook -- for now...), a kilo of coke, a Heidelberger Tun of Mad Dog 20/20, and at least one stick of dynamite.

The CLGM is sufficiently tought to withstand even these dire threats -- and perhaps even worse. Composed of cast iron and machined steel, it's on par with Corona's '70s and '80s offerings -- and leaves the cheap, aluminum shite in its dust. Better yet, it's one of the few American made products still on the market. This means no lead in the enamel, no melamine in the sample packet of flour (each CLGM is factory-tested, and shipped pre-set, with a teaspoon or so of finished product enclosed to demonstrate its efficacy), and no running a Geiger-counter over it before putting it to use.

And the settings! Would anyone in his right mind ever have thought a "primitive" mill capable of rendering whole kernels into grits, cake flour -- and everything in between?

I doubt it -- and yet the CLGM can! Mags and I began with mixed legumes (whole limas/butter beans at the lower end of the scale, split peas in the higher registers), and ended up with meal the consistency of bread flour.

I'd say there's some basni roti in our immediate future... :-)

Moreover, the flywheel is v-belt compatible. This is to say that a suffciently clever bastard can increase the mill's output by powering it with a bicycle, a windmill, a water-wheel, a Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine, or Richard H. Buxton's producer gas rig.

Use your imagination -- and buy one if you can afford it. You won't regret it.

And since physical labor is beneath my dignity for the most part, I'll post a couple o' shots o' Margarita (who, by then, was growling: "Chinga los 'San Patricios'!") putting the device to good use.

Starvation Diet

First we were all Keynesians; now it looks as if we'll all become Breathairians.

Bear with me, Gentle Reader. I'm a crank, a doomsayer, a naysayer, a pessimist, alarmist, conspiracy kook, gun-toting wingnut and all-around pain in the ass. There, I've admitted it. Hell, I'd be writing this in my geodesic dome whilst wearing a tinfoil hat -- but recent rumors maintain that geodesic domes cause erectile dysfunction, and that the nation's tinfoil supply has been contaminated with depleted uranium.  Be that as it may, though, I'm still a tad worried over the ever-increasing price of food. Even if you don't believe that Art Bell killed JFK (who was actually the Lindbergh baby), you can't deny that food prices are increasing past the normal rate of inflation.

Beyond the government trying to ram S. 510 down our throats (a potential nightmare for small farmers, survivalists and other "back to the land" types; and one guaranteed to jack food prices through the roof) domestic production isn't keeping pace with population growth. (See the USDA link below, and ponder the law of supply and demand). As I mentioned in an earlier post on beans and grains, the prices of both (in supermarkets, at any rate) have risen dramatically in the last three years. Granted, our friends the banksters are partially to blame, for tampering with the market, but nasty weather and increasingly adverse growing conditions are also contributing factors.

This year, for example, my wife and I have wrangled with late spring rains, a severe drought, unusually high UV levels, heat indexes in the high '90s and low 100's, Roundup-resistant weeds; and an influx of stink bugs, Mexican bean beetles, and corn earworms -- all immune or strongly resistant to pyrethrin, Malathion and Sevin. And we're not the only ones. As I noted a few days ago, 98 Georgia counties have been declared disaster areas. Zooming out and considering the bigger picture, though; one notes that it's been a bad year worldwide. Rice failures in Asia, wheat failures in Europe, and sharply reduced acreage under cultivation in this country all portend ill. I hope I'm wrong, Gentle Reader, but we might very well be in for a singularly lean (and expensive) winter.

The Guardian has run a sobering article on the impact of Russia's droughts and wildfires on wheat prices in Europe.

The spectre of food inflation is back. Two years ago the world was gripped by the prospect of supplies running low, thanks to a combination of rocketing demand from emerging countries and tightening supply as farmers turned wheat fields over to biofuels.

I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so...

Wheat prices, which are up 40% over the last month, reached a two-year high as concerns about a drought in Russia and rotting stocks of grain in India exercised markets in London and Chicago. Claims that a major crop failure in Australia, following an invasion of locusts and a wet summer in Canada, could lead to a worldwide shortage, have pushed up prices in recent weeks to levels not seen since 2008.

The rise in futures contract prices traded on the major markets also follows a United Nations report in June that warned food prices could rise as much as 40% over the coming decade, amid growing demand from emerging markets and for biofuel production.

But before you say: "Ah, it's just Europe. Who the fuck cares?"; consider the ripple effect, magnified by global economic codependency. These gents, certainly have. With a vested interest in the matter, they're hardly an objective source of information -- but the site makes for interesting reading.

And wheat isn't the only grain in short supply, as recent failures of the rice crop in Thailand, India, and Indonesia demonstrate. Moving closer to home, it's worth noting that the total acreage under cultivation has plummeted since the 1980s, while the population has ballooned to 300,000,000. If you're interested in overall domestic food production, (tonnage, price per bushel, acres cultivated, etc.) have a look here. The stats on staple crops (i.e. grains) are especially noteworthy -- and alarming. Beyond serving as food for most of the world's population, many of these grains are used for stock fodder and as sources of those ridiculous, wasteful "biofuels."

Forget mimicking the Eskimos by adopting a "no-carb" diet, though. Protein sources are becoming equally expensive, as illustrated by the following articles on pork, beef, and lamb. These disingenuous fucks attribute the increase to "an improving economy," (if hyperinflation is indicative of a healthy economy; I suppose Weimar Germany is the model to emulate. Luckily, even the most deranged of modern, revisionist economists and historians have yet to assert as much -- although I suppose it's just a matter of time)  but at least they confirm the trend, which stands to reason. Higher feed prices (most feeds being grains) inevitably lead to higher meat prices.  As soy prices are also on the rise, our Buddhist and vegan friends won't fare much better.

The bottom line: We might have one hell of a rough time ahead of us, folks. Unless you're feeling an overwhelming urge to gamble on the validity of the doctrine of Inedia, you might want to consider stocking up this year and producing more of your own food in the future.

Gardeners: You Need to Look at This

If this doesn't frighten you; you're either stoned or mentally retarded.

Read the full text, and then consider the potential impact on small farmers, home growers, and barterers. And for fuck's sake, pass the link on to anyone else it might adversely affect.

Billions of dollars worth of coke, heroin, weed, and meth pouring in over the border; Mexico, our next-door neighbor, is in a civil war; we're mired down in two un-winnable wars (and barreling into a third) and yet these power-crazed, demoniac scum mean to interfere with our ability -- no, our very right -- to feed ourselves.

Gardeners: Low Yields? It isn't Just You...

Between the September-April monsoons and the current heatwave/drought, 98 Georgia counties have been declared disaster areas. Don't take my word for it. See what the USDA has to say about it.

Worth a Thousand Words?

New pics are up in the "Gluttony and Drunkenness" and "Green Hell 2010" galleries.

Nothing earth-shaking; just a few shots of the orchard and a few "exotic" foods and herbs.

For "Garden Geeks" Only

I've posted a few photos of our "exotic" crops; including luffas, garden huckleberries, kiwi fruit and edible flowers. I've also included pictures of the yellow dock plant, which we intend to try as a remedy for psoriasis.

It's all in the"Green Hell '09" gallery.

Incredible Edibles: Garden Nasturtium

Sorry to have been away for so long, folks. Yet another torrential downpour this week left us bailing the cellar once again.

I don't give a shit how much fucking rain fell at Hartsfield airport, by the way. Mags and I set buckets out and measured twelve inches of precipitation in a single day; 50% more than the eight inches reported on WSB radio.

But enough about the fucking weather. This piece is about food and gardening.

If the Gentle reader has visited my website for any length of time, he knows that here at Maison Ridgerunner (and please pardon my French), the outré is de rigeur, insofar as grub is concerned. This is to say, in my wife's words: "We eat some weird shit."

As we grow "some weird shit" in our garden, I suppose this stands to reason. Thai and Turkish eggplant; smooth and angled luffas; Italian edible gourds; tomatillos; edible chrysanthemums (a.k.a. shungiku); dent corn; yard-long beans; Armenian cucumbers; West India gherkins; garden huckleberries (Solanum melanocarpum, a close – but edible -- relative of black nightshade/poisonberry) – you name it, we cultivate and eat it.

Now my wife's daughter, Elizabeth, already considers us nutcases because of our against-the-grain lifestyle. When and if she reads this, though, she'll be convinced that we've gone completely around the bend:

We eat flowers.

Yes, you read that correctly, Gentle Reader. We eat flowers.

In addition to the shungiku I've already mentioned (sukiyaki without shungiku is like a porno movie without nudity); artichokes (yes, they're flowers -- akin to both thistles and cardoon); and stuffed, deep-fried squash blossoms; we eat nasturtiums, as well.

Despite the similar nomenclature, the nasturtium to which I'm referring isn't N. officinale (better known as watercress), although we eat that, too. The plant we cultivate and enjoy is the garden nasturtium, Tropaeolum majus.

Native to the Andes and cultivated by the Incas for millennia, the easy-to-grow garden nasturtium is adaptable, attractive and useful. Despite its preference for cool, moist, well-drained soil, it's surprisingly drought tolerant, and thrives even in Georgia clay. Mags and I began growing it as a "lure crop," to draw aphids away from our beans, but we soon came to appreciate the plant for its own merits – which are many.

First and foremost, it's a beautiful plant. The lily-pad-shaped foliage is lush, succulent and of a lovely, deep-green color; while the spurred flowers come in various shades of red, yellow and orange. (Ferry Morse's "Jewel Mix," in my experience, produces the prettiest blooms).

Nearly all parts of the garden nasturtium are edible, and it's reputed to have medicinal value, as well. The entire plant is considered an aphrodisiac and rejuvenator, while the seeds contain a natural antibiotic that's said to be particularly useful in the treatment of respiratory infections.

The flowers and leaves have a tangy bite; rather like a milder version of watercress, with a faint, pleasant wasabi aftertaste. They're good on their own, and add zest to otherwise bland tossed salads -- rather like radicchio or arugula, minus the bitterness.

In addition to their uses in folk medicine, the buds and seeds (which grow in clusters of three – photo here) can be pickled and used as a substitute for capers. The recipe follows.

False Capers

Obtain as many nasturtium buds and unripe seed clusters as you can without pissing off your neighbors or going to jail for criminal trespass. (I'd recommend growing them, but as of this writing, it's November – which is a bit late in the year.)

Wash the buds and seeds thoroughly, and steep overnight in a brine of ½ cup kosher or pickling salt to a quart of distilled water. (The salt dissolves more rapidly if the water is warmed on the stove, but allow it to return to room temperature before brining the pickles.)

Drain buds and seeds, and place in a clean glass jar. Boil sufficient white or white wine vinegar to cover, and pour into jar. Seal and process for ten minutes, or refrigerate immediately and use within two weeks.

Bon apetit!

Success Stories

2009 was a tough year for gardeners in Roswell, GA.

Excepting the ten-day deluge in late September, we had only nine days of good, ground-soaking rain this summer. And since there are only two or three other vegetable gardens within half a mile or so of my house, it quickly became the preferred “soup kitchen” of every moochin’ rabbit, squirrel, squash bug, cucumber beetle, hornworm, earworm, Mexican bean beetle, aphid, vine borer and cutworm in town. I’ve even found deer tracks in the “back forty,” for the love of God!

Critters and droughts notwithstanding, Maggie and I pulled in quite a bit of chow from our 3600-square-foot patch. The following is a list of cultivars that did especially well, despite the adverse growing conditions.

Winter Squash: “Burgess Buttercup,” “Sweet Lightning*,” “Bush Delicata.”

Summer Squash: “Early Golden Crookneck*,” “White Bush Scallop*,” “Greyzini,” “Cocozelle,” “Butterstick Hybrid*,” “Burpee Golden Zucchini*” “Fordhook*”

Gourds: “Bottle,” “Italian Edible Gourd,” “Autumn Wings,” “Spoon,” “Ornamental Mix”

“Luffa*,” “Thai Angled Luffa”

Cucumbers: “Picklebush*,” “Sumter*,” “Marketmore,” “West India Gherkin”

Beans: “Masai,” “Bush Romano*,” “Chinese Yard-Long*,” (Burpee’s mung beans also did very well.)

Eggplant: “Turkish Orange”

Peppers: “Anaheim,” “Habanero,” “Hungarian Black,” “Red Cherry*,” “Jalapeno TMR*,” “Poblano”

Corn: “Early Sunglow,” “Ornamental Indian*”

Tomatoes: “Rutgers*,” Super Sweet 100*,” “Yellow Jubilee”

Okra: “Clemson Spineless*”

Kale: “Vates,” “Nero di Toscana”

Lettuce: “Royal Oak Leaf,” “Ruby Sails*,” “Salad Bowl*,” “Prizeleaf,” “Little Caesar”

Other: “Roquette” arugula*, “Kyoto” mizuna*

Many of said are consistent performers, as indicated by the asterisks.

When I say “consistent performers,” I mean cultivars that have yielded abundantly for five or more consecutive seasons. These consistent performers are the varieties I plant every year, whether or not I plant very much else.

This year, as I’ve noted, was especially difficult. We had yet another April frost and received only nine days of real rain (not counting a ten-minute sprinkle here and there) all summer. This prolonged drought, combined with the extreme heat we experienced, caused many of our crops to drop their blossoms, thereby reducing overall yield.

The dearth of water drove the bugs to desperation: so much so that even weekly spraying didn’t deter them. The insecticides we applied killed them in droves, but they just kept coming. We often had to resort to handpicking to keep their numbers down. Even our usual companion-planting strategies were largely ineffectual: the creepy-crawlies were so desperate for food and water; they completely ignored plants that usually repel them.

The cultivars I’ve mentioned impressed me with their ability to produce under such horrid conditions. I’d unreservedly recommend any of them to home gardeners – especially those unfortunates trapped in drought-plagued North Georgia.

I hope this article proves useful to someone.

Our favorite suppliers:

Livingston Seed Co., 830 Kinnear Road, Columbus, OH 43212

Ferry-Morse Seed Co., P.O. Box 1620, Fulton, KY 420419 (www.ferry-morse.com)

Botanical Interests, Inc., 660 Compton Street, Broomfield, CO 80020 (www.botanicalinterests.com)

Pinetree Garden Seeds, P.O. Box 300, New Gloucester, ME 04260 (www.superseeds.com)

Burgess Seed and Plant Co., 905 Four Seasons Road, Bloomington, IL 61701 (www.eBurgess.com)

R.H. Shumway’s, 334 W. Stroud St., Ste. 1, Randolph, WI 53956-1274 (www.rhshumway.com)

Totally Tomatoes, 334 W. Stroud St., Randolph, WI 53956 (www.totallytomato.com)

W. Atlee Burpee & Co., 300 Park Avenue, Warminster, PA 18974 (www.burpee.com)

J.W. Jung Seed Co., 335 S. High St., Randolph, WI 53957-0001